Part of the human experience involves periods of unanswered prayer, frustration with God, and an experience of his absence. These experiences are some of the hardest for us to reconcile and to move through without becoming bitter and disillusioned. I often hear people wrestle with this when they have a pattern of behavior that they are sick of but can’t seem to stop and wonder why God hasn’t helped more with it, or when they have struggled with unhappiness and conflict in their marriage for many years and seen no changes. As Christian counselors, we wrestle with these questions with you and search the Bible for answers to these struggles of the human condition. I read Isaiah 58 recently and was struck by the forcefulness of it’s words and the way it addresses this experience. What follows is in no way an exhaustive exploration of suffering and God’s role in it, but this passage is instructive in 3 practical ways if you are trying to figure out why God isn’t responding as you want or need him to, and what you should be focusing on instead.
Help Others More Than You’re Concerned About Helping Yourself
For day after day they seek me out; they seem eager to know my ways… they ask me for just decisions and seem eager for God to come near to them. Why have we fasted, they say, and you have not seen it? Why have we humbled ourselves and you have not noticed? Is 58:2-3
It seems that the Israelites are putting in some effort to connect with God or to get his attention. Fasting is not an easy thing to do and requires self denial. So we can’t write them off as being totally lazy or neglectful of God. This is an experience many of you can relate to. You feel you’re doing the right things. You try not to neglect your quiet time, you attend church regularly, you give of your time and money to God’s kingdom when you can. And you pray often, asking God to help you in a certain situation or to stop a certain behavior or to give you encouragement. But it doesn’t come. How does this passage explain it?
Yet on the day of your fasting you do as you please…your fasting ends in quarreling and strife…is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for a man to humble himself?… If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness… Is 58: 3-5, 9-10)
The people are more focused on trying to get God’s attention and to make something positive happen than they are about living the kind of life that actually pleases him. It is a self focused life that is ignoring the needs of others. They are taking advantage of people for economic gain, they are combative, they ignore the poor and their need for food, clothing, and justice. So this is the first challenging thing to ask yourself if you are frustrated with God- do you care about other people? Are you seeking ways to care for others or are you consumed by what you want and by your problems? Nothing discourages me more than seeing a person who has become so consumed by their deprivations in life that it is all they can focus on or talk about. Their complaint is like a black hole, sucking the life out of everything around them. We instinctively turn away from people who complain all the time, it is no wonder that God might have a problem with it as well. God’s call is to shift the focus towards helping those who have it worse than you.
Resolve the Issues in Your Relationships
Another issue highlighted in this passage is that the fasting ends in quarreling and strife, “the pointing finger,” and malicious talk. The people want God to come near, but perhaps they are too busy fighting with everyone around them for this to happen. I especially like the picture of the pointing finger, because it highlights our propensity to blame other people instead of owning our role in relational problems. Do you complain about someone in your life frequently? Do you have explosive conflicts with your spouse in which you say and do things you regret? Do you gossip frequently and tear people apart with your words?
The Bible is challenging, and passages like this hold up a mirror to who we are that can be hard to look at. We need to understand that the way we treat people is going to have an impact on our relationship with God. If your relational house is not in order, spend your energy on repairing relationships before you spend it pleading with God.
Worship God and Learn to Rest
This last one is a bit surprising. Verses 13 and 14 say,
If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the Lord’s holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the Lord, and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land…
This might seem out of place at first glance, especially since we moderns don’t worry too much about the Sabbath, but it fits with the theme of the self absorbed, self directed life getting in the way. God has designed us to worship him and he is worthy of that praise. This should be our posture at all times, but he has set aside one day of the week in which we are commanded to stop our work and other concerns and to focus on him. Sunday is for our own good and is a way in which God is urging us to live in balance and to stop working all the time. It is a gift that we choose not to open. I have been struck in my own life how shifting into an attitude of praise and worship at the times I’m most frustrated with God have totally transformed the peace I feel regardless of what happens in my life situation. There’s no greater joy than loving God, thanking him for who he is, and expressing that through listening to worship music, gathering with other believers to join in worship, or speaking directly to God with words of gratitude and praise.
Conclusion
Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I… The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Is 58: 9, 11
Much of the language in this passage is harsh and challenging, but it is dramatically overshadowed by the beautiful language in which God promises to answer, to give us joy, to build us up and to strengthen us. God never challenges us and leaves us there without hope. There is always a promise to take hold of, redemption to step into. If you want God to hear you and to move with more power in your life- focus on other people and their needs, resolve the ongoing conflicts with people in your life, and take time often to rest and to praise God for who he is and what he has done. And here’s the most important point- don’t dive into these behaviors from the place of hoping that if you do them, God will do what you want and finally hear you. This is the fast that will end in quarreling and strife, because you will try for a bit, run out of energy, and revert to your old behaviors in frustration. God doesn’t want our self directed efforts or shows of piety to get his attention. He wants a relationship with us, which is why God frequently talks about abiding, remaining, and resting in him. Jesus said, “apart from me you can do nothing.” So the real call here is to slow down and intentionally get into God’s presence. As you listen to him and abide in him, he will direct you and empower you. Perhaps you’ll hear a call to help the less fortunate in your community, or to forgive someone in your family, or to get on your knees in worship. And this time when you move forward, it will be from a different place entirely, because you already know you are with God and have his attention and love. And that thing you wanted so desperately to change will be touched as well, but at this point you might not even notice or care as much anymore because you are concerned with other things.
If any of this resonates with you and you want to speak with a Christian counselor to explore how this applies to your unique situation and your relationship with God, we’d love to process this with you and to encourage you. Get in touch today for a free 15 minute consultation.